How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
