He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
