Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
