i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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