According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
