I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
