her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
