just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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