worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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