But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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