First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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