You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
