there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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