GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize