Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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