there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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