Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
