We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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