i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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