Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize