...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize