i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
