just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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