she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
