you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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