So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
