She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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