I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
