ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
