My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
