The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
