Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
