Im at strip club and am horny
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I want a musical about memes.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
