Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
This is the prime rib incident all over again
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
