ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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