Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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