Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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