So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
