Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
