if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize
