Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
4 words: hood of his car
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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