I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
