just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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