U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You ruined the universe
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
