if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i think i scared a bird with my dick
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
