week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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