That's intense
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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