How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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