I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
youre lurking in front of me
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
