you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
