he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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