I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
