Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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