I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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