Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
