He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
