Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
