to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
