I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
