So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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