This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize