Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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