Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
