TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize