So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize