Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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