No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
