Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
