i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
