Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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