plz talk dirty to me
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We just shotgunned beers for America
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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