I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
