Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
