She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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